-trust-

---

this references netflix's Nimona, if you haven't seen it, do so.

once upon a time, i trusted someone.
i though they were my Balister.
they turned out to be my Gloreth.

now ... i'm trying to figure out where to go from here.
i don't want to wait a thousand years for someone to accept me.
do i continue as i have been? do i "run-away" to live with family with unknown prospects for the future? they've offered. i could.
but i have kids who i would miss and who might not understand.
life right now is stable (i have housing, i have employment, both kinda suck but could be worse). do i risk that for something that could be better, or could be worse?

yes, it's New Year's Day and i am drinking and watching Nimona for, like, the thousandth time. (i really wish Netflix would release it on physical media.) no one reads these anyway, so why do i care.

here i am on New Year's Day feeling vulnerable and betrayed , what's new. tomorrow (tonight, whatever), i go to work as usual at the job i hate to afford the apartment that (while nice) is a symbol of the relationship i thought i had that i have lost.

once again, here i go, screaming into the void, whatever

---

-one year, or year one-

---

Yeah, I know, it’s a couple of days early, but I’m gonna be working til Saturday and I’m not gonna be able to post these before then. I’m kinda drunk now and so, here are some one year on HRT selfies (no makeup, no shapewear, no bra, deal with it).
( Read more... )

i know, they aren’t great, but that’s what you’re gonna get right now. Sorry. DM me if you need more.

---